What to do when you don't feel supported


Everyone experiences a period when they don't feel supported by others around them. They could include their partner, their friends, their family, their coworkers, and perhaps even their kids. I've been going through a recent emotional slump due to what I perceive as an absence of support for my career choice from many friends and family. Even though I am used to people not understanding what I do, it is still a different experience to realize that some individuals either don't care or perhaps don't approve of what I do. It ultimately impacts your relationships or sense of self-worth and can leave you feeling isolated and discouraged.


Below are 10 things you can do to help you accomplish more and feel better, as well as improve how you express your wants and objectives to others who might not support you from the onset. 


Expand your support network.

Often, we make the error of attempting to get assistance from folks who have no idea what we're trying to achieve. As a result, neither party is satisfied with how things turn out. If you're a writer, you should look for other authors who aren't emotionally invested in you to talk to about your issue. The same holds whether you're a computer programmer, a lawyer, or a carpenter. This can get you moving in the correct direction and make some new friends for you at the same time!


Improve your coping skills

Consider your approach to disappointment for a moment. Do you manage it well or does it take a toll on you for a couple of days?  If the latter, you probably need to improve your coping mechanisms. Perhaps you should find physical ways of expressing your emotions. You might try walking, deep breathing, or meditation. Sometimes the best solution to a problem may be found with only a little bit of distance to think about it.


Try keeping a journal.

Lack of good communication is frequently the cause of lack of support. Write down your frustrations and why you believe you aren't receiving the required help. Try outlining potential answers by writing something like, "Talked to XYZ about my concerns regarding the ABC. He wasn't empathetic because he disagreed with my strategy. Will consider speaking with DEF or GHI instead.” Even just putting it down can help you approach the issue more calmly by taking some of the urgency out of it.


Analyze the reason you don’t feel supported.

Most individuals have rather close-off perspectives on what is permissible and what is not, and they frequently treat anything that deviates from these limits with contempt. Are you attempting anything so extraordinary that most people wouldn't understand? Or are you just expecting too much of those around you? You can't expect other people to handle your affairs while you pursue unrealistic and lofty dreams. To receive any help, you must first start lending a hand when needed.


Listen to what you’re told.

Indeed, you may already know what you need to know to make informed decisions, but you aren't paying attention since it goes against your goals. It's time to pause and think about it if enough people tell you the same thing. Most likely, they are sharing recollections from their personal experiences to give you the information you need to take the right course of action.


Ask yourself if your goal is attainable.

That you might never achieve a desired goal is the most challenging thing to hear. But if you hear this, pause to consider it. Are you doing something that is out of the ordinary but that you can realistically hope to succeed in, or are you attempting something absurd, such as becoming a neurosurgeon while having hand palsy? We occasionally have to take a different path or settle for something less. Although they do support you in this situation, your friends and family are more realistic about your potential than you are.


Try to understand why they don’t support you.

Sometimes individuals will say one thing, but others interpret it quite differently. This is when starting a conversation is imperative. Understanding the other person's perspective is essential to discover what you can do to win their support. This will enhance your relationship while also requiring some sensitivity and perhaps even a little salesmanship, but it will be well worth it in the end.


Ask yourself what you would tell yourself if you were them.

One of the hardest things to accept is that we all occasionally provide sound advice but fail miserably at following it. Ask yourself, "If I ever saw So-and-So doing this, would I encourage him/her or advise against it?" Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Although it might not be fun, this approach might help you view things from the perspective of others.


Change your approach, your goals, your behaviour, or all three.

Nobody wants to be around a smug. It's necessary to make some adjustments if you come out arrogant if your objective is too lofty, or if you demand help instead of requesting it. Everyone enjoys being asked for assistance, but nobody likes having assistance just assumed. To receive the help and support you require to accomplish your goals, it's crucial to know how, when, and who to ask for assistance.


Let Their Lack of Support Motivate You to Succeed

One possibility is to use the lack of encouragement to spur you on to work even harder. Friends used to ask me when I would get a "real job" after I decided to start writing full-time after completing college. I can't even begin to tell you how wounded and enraged it made me feel, but rather than let it crush me; I used it to motivate me to work even harder. Failing was not an option since there was no way I could convince them that I could not support myself as a writer if I didn't win. 


Learn How to Support Yourself

Finally, no matter what line of work you decide to take in life, you should always, support yourself. Be your number 1 fan. While having a partner on your journey might be excellent, most of your most difficult tasks must be completed by you. Therefore, don't be hesitant to keep pushing yourself, particularly if it feels appropriate.

As part of your homework, concentrate on being a better self-observer of the tiny things that offer you powerful feelings of social support. Identifying these aspects would help you avoid social isolation when you feel upset about not getting the push you need from friends and family.


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